02 03 Notes from the School Psychologist: If My Name is in the Email Subject Heading, I am Dead 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

If My Name is in the Email Subject Heading, I am Dead

I got my first email about returning to one of the school districts where I work as a school psychologist yesterday. Seriously, it’s August already? How did that happen?

I am always mixed about going back to school. I will miss being a “lady who lunches” in the summer (though that’s a myth, I still work all summer, just not in the schools). But I love the back to school shopping and the freshly sharpened pencils and the decorating of my janiors closet office. I usually choose a solid color for the walls, with a classy border, and refrain from all posters involving eagles or kittens or other animal-motivation. I just don’t think kids are gonna come in the office with their troubles fixed by inspirational quotes about soaring above things or “hanging in there!”

Anyhoo, where was I going with this? Ah yes, the email.

I got kind of excited about going back and seeing my colleagues, and I was inspired to check my district email. Turns out, I was apparently on a one-woman district email-strike from April to June, because there were a zillion emails I hadn’t seen yet. Some were marked urgent, but apparently were not. This might be a good time management strategy—if you don’t check your email, the urgent emails go away and people figure out their urgent problem on their own! I assume anything truly urgent would involve a phone call.

As I scanned the emails, there was one district employee who I can only assume is the PR voice of the district who had a lot to say. As I clicked through the emails, I saw a theme. The news about our district wasn’t so great. Budget cuts. Pending layoffs. How to get legal representation for our impending budget cuts and pending layoffs. Shooting of a student. And every once in a while, a teacher had died and their memorial service was advertised. WOW. Is that all the news we have in our district? Depressing.

Surely there is some good news about our district?! I know at my school, there are many wonderful things being done for kids. But I guess like the regular news, it’s all bad news all the time? And then at the end of the news, there’s a story about a crazy cat lady trying to get people to adopt kittens or something and we’re supposed to be like, “OH, everything is fine now that I saw that 2 second human interest feature.”*

So I guess that’s part of why I write this blog. I am striving to be that crazy cat lady, trying to sell the idea that it’s not all so bad! Right. So my New School Year’s Resolution is to post more positive stories. I know, the next-stop-dysfunction-junction posts are always a sure hit, and you know I can’t let go of ones like this and this and this.

But I will promise you this: my next post WILL have a kitten in it.

*True story. After an hour of reporting on the Columbine high school shooting, my local news anchor actually used the phrase, “On a lighter note, we turn to Glenda with a story about a man who taught his cat to ride his bicycle!” Super! The cat and the man are riding out rest of their lives together. I feel great now!


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