34
Number of Icebreakers: 7,000 Number of Schools Assigned to Me: 3 Number of Days in Working Public School Per Week: 3 Ratio of School Psychologist (Me!) to Students: 1:350 Number of Dead Rodents Discovered at School: 1 Number of Janitors Available to Help Clean Up Dead Rodent: 0 Number of Times I Gagged Trying to Dispose of Carcass: 47* Number of 7th Graders Who Are Now Taller Than Me: 35 Number of Crying Children Sent to My Office: 2 Number of Times I Couldn’t Communicate Effectively in Spanish: Cinco Number of Times I Could: Cinco Number of Students Asking to be in The Talent Group Again: All of Them Ratio of School Psychologist to Ants in Office: 1:350 Number of Ants Squished: 50 Number of Kids that Make it All Worth It: Infinite